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 一大家子十几口人热热闹闹地准备过圣诞节。小Kevin又闯祸了，他和哥哥在争吵中把餐厅搞得一塌糊涂。妈妈赶过来劈头盖脸就开始教训Kevin，让他去楼上一个人去反省，舅舅也在旁边敲锣边。Kevin当然很委屈了，本来就不是他一个人的错嘛——
Mom: Stop! What's the matter with you?
Kevin: He started it! He ate my pizza on purpose! He knows I hate sausages and olives...
Uncle Frank: Look what you did, you little jerk!
Mom: Kevin, get upstairs right now. 
Kevin: Why?
Brother: Kevin, you're such a disease.
Kevin: shut up!
Dad: Kevin, upstairs!
Mom: Say good night, Kevin.
Kevin: Good night, Kevin. Why do I always get treated like scum?
Mom: Oh, I'm sorry, this house is just crazy. We got all these extra kids running around and my brother-in-law's in from Ohio today. It's just nuts.
Kevin: How come you didn't bring more cheese pizzas?
Pizza boy: Nice tip, thanks a lot!
Mom: Thanks.
Henry: Having a reunion or something?
Mom: No, my husband's brother transferred to Paris last summer and the kids still went to school here and I guess he missed the whole family so he's giving us this trip to Paris for the holiday...so we'll be together.
Henry: You're taking a trip to Paris?
Mom: Yes, we hope to leave tomorrow morning.
Henry: Excellent, excellent.
Mom: If you'll excuse me, this one's a little out of sorts. I'll be right back.
Henry: Don't worry about me. I spoke to your husband already. And don't worry about your home. It's in good hands.
重点讲解
妈妈赶过来，气冲冲地问：“你们俩怎么回事？”（What's the matter with you?）。Kevin说，哥哥明明知道他不喜欢吃香肠（sausage）和橄榄油（olive），还故意（on purpose）吃了他的奶酪比萨。妈妈却不分青红皂白让Kevin立刻到楼上反省。Jerk是弗兰克舅舅说Kevin的，原意是性情古怪的人，这里可以说成是“小麻烦、小杠头”之类。
妈妈、舅舅、爸爸都不向着他说话，Kevin自言自语，为什么他总是像垃圾一样被对待。scum的意思是浮渣、泡沫、糟粕；treated是一个过去分词做状语，前面与系动词get连用。
妈妈接着向警察亨利解释，家里太乱了，一下子多了许多孩子，是个棘手的问题（nut），因为她哥哥从俄亥俄州赶过来。文中的用法是be in from Ohio，其中的in不是通常理解的“在里面”，而是“在家、已经到达”的意思；nut本意是坚果，这里指不好解决的、闹心的问题。送比萨的小男孩在回答Kevin关于下次多送些奶酪比萨的建议时，回答说“Nice tip”，tip这里的意思就是“暗示、提示”。
下面出现的亨利其实是个惯偷，他表面的职业是片警。妈妈说请他谅解（excuse），要去处理一下Kevin的问题，其中，be out of sorts是个惯用的短语，意思是“不守规矩的”。之后，妈妈向亨利解释圣诞节全家都要去巴黎以后，他保证说，你们家会被照料得很好。be in good hands本意是在可靠的人手里，这里一语双关，实际亨利心里正在打着坏主意——圣诞节来家里行窃。
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