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Parents Are too Permissive with Their Children Nowadays

2013-05-21 23:51[英语文摘] 来源:互联网 评论:0条
Parents Are too Permissive with Their Children Nowadays

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娇纵孩子已经成为一个日益受到人们关注的话题。大多数同类文章批评父母娇惯孩子,而本文视角独特,把父母对孩子的娇纵归因于心理学家。读过后,却让人不觉点头称是。作文追求立意新颖,然而切忌刻意标新立异而不知所云,明理载道方为作文之根本。

Few people would defend the Victorian attitude to children, but if you were a parent in those days, at least you knew where you stood: children were to be seen and not heard. Freud and company did away with all that and parents have been bewildered ever since. The child’s happiness is all-important, the psychologists say, but what about the parents’ happiness? Parents suffer constantly from fear and guilt while their children gaily romp about pulling the place apart. A good old-fashioned spanking is out of the question: no modern child-rearing manual would permit such barbarity. The trouble is you are not allowed even to shout. Who knows what deep psychological wounds you might inflict? The poor child may never recover from the dreadful traumatic experience. So it is that parents bend over backwards to avoid giving their children complexes which a hundred years ago hadn’t even been heard of. Certainly a child needs love, and a lot of it. But the excessive permissiveness of modern parents is surely doing more harm than good.

Psychologists have succeeded in undermining parents’ confidence in their own authority. And it hasn’t taken children long to get wind of the fact. In addition to the great modern classics on child care, there are countless articles in magazines and newspapers. With so much unsolicited advice flying about, mum and dad just don’t know what to do any more. In the end, they do nothing at all. So, from early childhood, the kids are in charge and parents’ lives are regulated according to the needs of their offspring. When the little dears develop in to teenagers, they take complete control. Lax authority over the years makes adolescent rebellion against parents all the more violent. If the young people are going to have a party, for instance, parents are asked to leave the house. Their presence merely spoils the fun. What else can the poor parents do but obey?

Children are hardy creatures (far hardier than the psychologists would have us believe) and most of them survive the harmful influence of extreme permissiveness which is the normal condition in the modern household. But a great many do not. The spread of juvenile delinquency in our own age is largely due to parental laxity. Mother, believing that little Johnny can look after himself, is not at home when he returns from school, so little Johnny roams the streets. The diving-line between permissiveness and sheer negligence is very fine indeed.

The psychologists have much to answer for. They should keep their mouths shut and let parents get on with the job. And if children are knocked about a little bit in the process, it may not really matter too much. At least this will help them to develop vigorous views of their own and give them something positive to react against. Perhaps there’s some truth in the idea that children who’ve had an excess of happiness in their childhood fail to make a success of life.

背景介绍:

父母过多地娇纵孩子已成为一个社会问题,日益引起人们的普遍关注。本文从几个方面对这一问题进行了讨论。

参考译文:

父母过于娇纵孩子

没有人会为维多利亚式对待孩子的态度去辩护。但是,如果你是那个时代的父母,至少你会知道自己的立场:孩子们是该用眼睛看着,而不是用耳朵听着。弗洛伊德之流改变了所有这一切,从此之后,父母们便变得茫然,不知所措。心理学家们说孩子的幸福是至关重要的,那么父母们的幸福又如何呢?当孩子们欢蹦乱跳地嬉戏玩耍把家里闹个底儿朝天时,他们的父母却忍受着担心和负疚的折磨。要想像前人一样狠狠地揍他一顿屁股是根本不可能的了,因为现代育儿指南绝不会允许这种野蛮行径。麻烦的是,甚至连大声吼他一顿也不可以。谁能说清你这一吼会给孩子造成多么深的心灵创伤呢?那可怜的孩子可能永远都无法从那可怖的精神创伤中恢复过来。结果,是父母拼命避免给孩子造成这样或那样的“情结”,而在100年前,人们对此闻所未闻。诚然,孩子们需要爱,许许多多的爱,但是现代父母过度的娇纵绝对是弊大于利。

心理学家已经成功地削弱了父母对自己权威的自信心。没过多久,孩子们便捕捉到了这一讯息。除了那些非凡的现代儿童教育经典外,报纸杂志上满是这类文章。在这种不请自来的建议满天飞的情况下,爸爸妈妈们简直不知道该做什么好。结果,他们什么也没做。这样一来,孩子从小便大权在握,而父母的生活则完全围绕着子女的需要转。当亲爱的小宝贝们长成少男少女时,他们便完全控制局势了。多年来父母的权威松懈,年少的孩子们的反抗则愈加强烈了。举个例子说吧,当年轻人聚会时,父母便被要求离开家,因为他们在场只会扫了大家的玩兴。这些可怜的父母们除了乖乖地听从还能做什么呢?

孩子是一种强壮的生物,远比心理学家告诉我们的要强壮。过度娇纵孩子已经成为现代家庭中一种很普遍的现象,而大多数孩子能克服其不良影响而成长起来。但是也有相当数量的孩子未曾幸免。当今社会,青少年犯罪问题的日益严峻,在相当大的程度上正是由于父母管教不力所致。母亲相信小约翰尼会照料自己。在小约翰尼放学回家时,妈妈出去了,于是,小约翰尼便在街头游荡。娇纵和疏于管教之间的界线是很微妙的。

心理学家应当对此负相当大的责任。他们应当闭上嘴巴,让父母们自主地管教孩子。如果在这个过程中,父母对孩子稍微粗暴了一点,那其实也没有什么大不了。至少,这有助于他们培养自己坚定的主张,并给他们提供对具体事情作出反应的机会。有一种观点认为,在孩童时代享受过多幸福的孩子,创造不出成功的人生。此话或许不无道理。

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