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 One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the  local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my  husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very  embarrassing. What should I do?" 
  "I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you.  I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will  motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a  good poke in the leg." 
  In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing  this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the  ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. 
  "Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the  hatpin. 
  "Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr.  Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is  your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards  Mrs. Jones. 
  "God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin. 
  "Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr.  Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not  notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few  motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her  husband with the hatpin again. 
  The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore  him his 99th son?" 
  Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that  goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half  and shove it up your ass!" 
  "Amen," replied the congregation.  |